Monthly Archive: March 2004

dear old Dad

Hard to believe my father has been gone 16 years already. After he died, I found the following, written in long hand among his personal papers. I copied into a word document and now digitize it forever. I’m guessing this was written over 50 years ago when Dad was honing his skills for his career at Safeway. I know he took some public speaking and creative writing classes way back when. Some interesting family history none-the-less. Enjoy………………………………………

By Frank Flaherty
The other night while on the way home I helped an old blind lady from the
streetcar to the curb – as soon as she reached the sidewalk she thanked me
and with head held high, her white cane out in front of her, started briskly
down the street. This little incident made me stop and think how brave a
person like this was and how lucky I was.

It also brought to my mind another person I have had the privilege of
knowing for the last 30 years.

If you can visualize a rather small woman dressed in a flowered gingham
house dress covered with a big white apron, her hair is snow white and
drawback into a big knot which used to be the style 30 years ago. Her cheeks
are full and rosy and there is hardly a line or wrinkle in her face. She is
what you would describe as the typical Irish mother. For the past 26 years
this woman has been stone blind. The first time I can clearly remember
seeing her she was surrounded by her fine well fed typical Irish kids.

Her youngest child was only two years old when she first noticed that she
was gradually losing her sight. The usual medical treatment that was
standard in those days was administered to no avail. After many operations
she was told her case was hopeless and she was sent home totally blind. It
is almost impossible to imagine the thought that ran though her head. A
mother of five children to spend the rest of her days on the earth in total
darkness, never to see her children again, never to see them grow up into
manhood or womanhood. Never to see her husbands face again, never to see
the sky, the flowers, the birds, the change of seasons. All the things that we
take for granted and make this life worth while.

It must have been a very sad day for her, but she still had those five fat
Irish kids to look after and she was determined that they would not suffer
because of her misfortune. Her first problem was to feel her way around the
house and to get acquainted with the new world in which she was to live. You
all remembered what panic and confusion we experienced in our first
black-out. There was many a black-eye, bruised forehead and skinned shins to
show for only a few hours of complete darkness. With her is was 24 hours
every day- 7 days a week every week, 52 weeks ever year- year after year and
those five fat Irish kids never could be taught to close doors after them,
keep chairs out of the middle of the floor and as a result her life was one
bump or bruise after another.

As they grew older these children began to realize what an extraordinary
mother they had. Doing all the cooking, washing and cleaning for five
children and a husband and at the same time being blind was indeed something
to brag about. Many a time she was surrounded by a group of open-mouthed
neighborhood kids who came in to find out for themselves if she really
couldn’t see and if she had an eye in the back of her head like she claimed.
That was always a mystery to her own children. If she couldn’t see how was
it that she could tell when they were doing something wrong. It seemed to
them that if they were only thinking about something wrong she would know
about it.

Taking care of a home and five children today is a full time job, even now with
all the modern conveniences today. I can remember seeing the woman on wash
days doing the weekly wash by hand bent over steaming tubs with perspiration
dripping from her brow. It was an all day job but there was never a meal
missed or even late. The next day would be ironing day and I could remember
seeing the kitchen table just piled high with clothes to be ironed, day in
and day out this same routine went on. The children grew up and never once
were they inconvenienced in any way. Christmas and holidays were always big
events in this family. There was always the tree with all the presents under
it and mother always claiming that Santa Claus brought it. Until the
children were quite old they didn’t realize that mother and father had
stayed up almost all night decorating and wrapping presents. There was
always turkey dinner. They knew where that came from because they saw her
prepare it from the very beginning. The only help they gave her was to look
into the oven once in a while to tell her how brown the old bird was
getting. To watch her in the kitchen you would
never think that she was totally blind. She moved about without once
faltering. The vegetables would be prepared. a fire would be made, pots an
pans would clatter and with in minutes your nose would tell you that a meal
was being prepared. Flame or heat seemed not to bother her. Her hands would
flit from one pot to another. stirring, tasting, adding a little more
seasoning of this here, turning down the flame there. There must have been
many a burn but there never was a complaint and to my knowledge there was
never a meal that was spoiled. To this day her “Irish bread” is still a
treat to those five fat kids.

The kids got married one by one and at least one night a week they and there
families would go to ma’s for dinner. As usual Christmas and holidays they
were all there and ma would prepare her now famous turkey dinner.

The wives of the boys were secretly calling her up to find out how to make
meat loaf of bread like ma did.

She is today not only ma to her own five fat kids but to an assortment of
grandchildren who now also take her for granted. She mothered five children
through all their childhood illness without ever calling in a doctor. She
did all the washing, cleaning, ironing , cooking, that goes into making up
a home and never once asking for or got any help. She did all this while
being totally blind. She is in my mind the most extraordinary person I have
ever met.

She is my mother

Here is a picture of my Dad and his mother.